Day to day living

Unexpected Beauty

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

Yesterday I looked at something, saw intense beauty, and was so moved that, though I was alone, I said out loud, “I wish that everyone could see that.” The beauty was so intense that I could feel the awe in my gut. Small, very small, but amazing. I SO much wanted to share. But it is not possible. Strangely, the blessing of the beauty was a result of a physical problem, so that not even a camera could duplicate what I was perceiving.

You see, as a “mature age“ human being I have cataracts in both eyes. They are not yet sufficiently advanced that they can be removed, but they do affect my vision. I was looking at the miniature Christmas tree that I had adorned with a small string of lights. I know that those lights are plain old light bulbs of different colors. Pretty, but not unusual. With my glasses on I see a small halo around each bulb – interesting, but not amazing. Without my “corrective” glasses, though… WOW! Every light bulb becomes a blazing star of color, surrounded by a glowing halo. It is so hugely beautiful that I ache to share it… and there is no way to do that, I can only share it as it is, not as I saw it.

Except… if you are of an age and visual situation in which you see car lights as having halos, I would urge you to take off your glasses as you look at the lights on a Christmas tree, a menorah, perhaps even a simple candle flame. Look, and I hope you will see the beauty that I am seeing/ If you do – enjoy!

I guess that even things that we frequently regard as a nuisance, as something that will eventually call for surgery, something that prevents us from seeing fine detail, or being able to read menus without our glasses… even those things can offer benefits. Thinking back over quite a few years I do not remember being as awed by beauty, even some amazing sunsets in Arizona, as I was by the sight of those glowing “stars.”

Life offers blessings even when we do not expect them. Be sure to relish yours when they arrive.

(But remember where you put your glasses!)

DianaR

Last night, we in the northern hemisphere experienced our longest night of the year. Today, daylight will last a fraction longer than yesterday. By Sunday, the increasing light will be apparent to most of us. The light is “returning.”

When “some assembly” is required

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

“Assembly required” can mean fasten with two screws, or devote three days to figuring out what the instructions mean, or anywhere in between. Some of us can handle this undaunted. For others it is a terrifying task. Perhaps this will help, based on years of assembling on my own:

1. Pick a time when no deadline is looming. If things get difficult you will need to be able to walk away from it for a while. (Christmas Eve is a really BAD time to be assembling things!)

2. Read the instructions all the way through. If there is an instruction video, watch it. (If there is a video this means that LOTS of assembly is required.)

3. Check the parts against the parts list. Set them out in a container from which they cannot escape, preferably on a surface that will not be needed in the near future. The kitchen table is probably not the best idea, unless it is the only option.

4. Assemble the tools the instructions say that you will need. Items that you may need even if they are not listed: flashlight for finding things that fall into dark corners; bandana for wiping sweat; adjustable wrench to use when the others won’t fit, and a hammer (trust me).

5. Follow the instructions, one step at a time, in the order given – this last is important.

6. When the parts, bolts, or screws stick, or otherwise won’t fit, jiggle them gently first. Make sure that you have everything the right way round. (I once tried to put the left arm on the right side of an office chair… and wondered why it wouldn’t fit.)

7. If they still stick, won’t fit, or you get otherwise frustrated, TAKE A BREAK. Get away from your project. Make a phone call, take a walk, get a cup of coffee, but STOP working on it until you have calmed down, maybe even until tomorrow. Or next week (remember item #1).

8. Use a hammer only very cautiously if at all, but sometimes it is needed, even when the instructions don’t say so.

9. Don’t give up too soon. Something that seems too difficult one day may submit easily tomorrow, and knowing that you finished it without having to ask your neighborhood Mr/Mrs. Fixit for help feels GREAT! Although it is really nice to know s/he is there if needed.

10. Congratulate yourself! You did it!

Diana

I hope you find this blog interesting, useful, or amusing, depending on its topic. One way to keep track of my posts is to subscribe to my newsletter (see form on the right), which will always contain a link to my recent blogs. Or, of course, you could bookmark this page and keep checking back. Either way, I hope that my work makes your life easier and more balanced. To explore my offer of the gift of a 30-40 minute coaching session on whatever issue is a stumbling block for you, please see my Contact page.

Does race matter? To whom? To everyone!

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

“People who say that race is not important have not usually been mistreated/disrespected most of their lives because of their race. To say that race SHOULD NOT be important is one thing, and correct, but to recognize that for many people, race is a game-changer in terms of their life experience, that is reality. We should all be working for a time when race is not important in terms of life experience, but to deny the reality of many people’s current life experience – that in itself is disrespectful and illustrates the point.” Diana Gardner Robinson

I posted this on Facebook a few days ago, based on the experiences of many of my friends. When I was teaching future addictions counselors, among the students who worried me most were those who claimed, innocently and often smugly, that they don’t “see” race. What we need to “see” is how people have been affected by life experience, and people of different races (as well as backgrounds, nationalities, even the decade of their childhood) may have had different experiences. THAT is what we should pay attention to. If a person’s experience leads them to see the world through “black eyes” or “as a black woman” then to ignore that person’s race is to disrespect her experience of life. To do that is to demonstrate white privilege in all its ugliness.

Unfortunately it may be difficult for those of us who have never been in a specific situation to “grok” what it is like for someone else. The fact that we can’t imagine it does mean that we have the right to try to overlay our own experience over theirs. The fact that I, originating from England, have been judged by some people of certain other nationalities does not mean that I know what it is to have been discriminated against, or at least to be aware that discrimination is a probability/possibility, all my life.

We need to learn to accept other people’s realities as real in their experience, and move on, and allow them, to move on in that reality.

I could probably rant for pages on this, but I’ll be merciful and leave it at that.

Diana

I hope you find this blog interesting, useful, or amusing, depending on its topic. One way to keep track of my posts is to subscribe to my newsletter (see form on the right), which will always contain a link to my recent blogs. Or, of course, you could bookmark this page and keep checking back. Either way, I hope that my work makes your life easier and more balanced. To explore my offer of the gift of a 30-40 minute coaching session on whatever issue is a stumbling block for you, please see my Contact page.

Have too much stuff? Me too!

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

“Thing-itis” leads to too much stuff

I don’t know if “thing-itis” is a word, but I am using it as one. To me, it means being unable to resist buying or acquiring stuff, maybe just one more thing, over and over again. Another version is the inability to discard whatever does not at this time serve our needs, just in case it might be useful in the future. Thing-itis can result in an environment that is harmful to our experience of clear, open and uncluttered surroundings.

I come by my “thing-itis” honestly. “Things” were in perilously short supply when I was a child. As an illustration… I kept pet mice and used to sell their offspring to other kids in the village. One day – I was about nine or ten – I asked my mother for another mouse cage. Instead of making a trip to the pet store, which I had been my plan, she presented me with some wood scraps, some small strips of leather (that I eventually used as hinges), and the tools, nails etc that we kept in the garage. Yes, I built a very serviceable mouse cage, but I also learned that even the most unlikely bits and pieces may, at some time, be useful. Hence the difficulty in discarding all manner of oddments.

Now, as I prepare to downsize to a much smaller dwelling, I realize how much stuff we can do without, even as I hesitate to discard or donate any of it. I know that I am not alone in this. Yet at the same time almost every morning television show has adopted a regular segment in which gewgaws and “must have” fashion items are offered at such huge discounts that people accustomed to buying via TV (thankfully I am not one of them) must find it hugely difficult to resist buying “just one more” thing, i.e. more stuff, particularly when it is such a bargain.

In the Western world we have become a “stuff acquiring” society, slowly becoming an overwhelmed-by-stuff society. We assuage our consciences by donating unwanted stuff to charity so that thrift stores can sell them to more people who cannot resist acquiring…. more stuff.

One wise person I know believes in almost emptying one room at a time, leaving only the most basic pieces of furniture. She then returns one most favored item at a time, pausing, or even waiting a day or – before deciding whether to add another item. When she feels that the room looks just as it should, calm, balanced, and uncluttered, she dismisses the remainder of the items in order to maintain a room in which she feels serenity.

Some say that a cluttered environment leads to a cluttered mind. I suspect there is truth in that, just as there is serenity to be found in lack of clutter. (Did you know that some have suggested that the peace we experience from clear horizontal surfaces relates to an ancient enjoyment of open spaces back in our hunting and gathering days?)

It may not be easy, but I continue on my annoyingly slow uncluttering process and look forward to eventual results. It is a journey..

So… tell me… what do you have the most difficulty discarding, even when every horizontal surface is covered?

Diana

I hope you find this blog interesting, useful, or amusing, depending on its topic. One way to keep track of my posts is to subscribe to my newsletter (see form on the right), which will always contain a link to recent blogs. Or, of course, you could bookmark this page and keep checking back. Either way, I hope that my work makes your life easier and more balanced. To explore my offer of the gift of a 30-40 minute coaching session on whatever issue is a stumbling block for you, please contact me via my Contact page.