“Work in Progress – Because we all are”

Balance – do we care? And why?

We hear so much about “work-life balance” these days that the topic becomes almost hackneyed. And yet one of the great high-wire performers in the Wallenda family has been quoted as saying that if he could not move the balance pole he carried in his high-wire acts, then he could not perform, but would fall. It was not enough for him to just hold the pole. He had to be able to move freely to counter the shifts in his weight as he moved forward. So it seems that balance does matter.

Sometimes life is very like a high-wire act. We try to move forward in a straight line, but at one moment we feel pulled or pushed in another direction – the wind blows, the wire swings a little under our feet, so we respond, we adapt – and just as we think we are regaining balance, we find that we have over-responded and that another re-balancing act is needed.  We pause, perhaps we wobble – at least mentally – and then with luck, we stabilize. But we must always be able to respond to even the subtlest of changes if we are to remain balanced – and so in control of our lives. The alternative can be to be gripped by whatever force is pulling or pushing us so that we end up far from our intended goal, or even crashing to disaster. For most of us, the force will not be gravity, but whatever affects us may be just as devastating if we are not able to respond appropriately from a position of balance.

The Wallendas cannot change direction. They are on a wire, or rope, and can go only forward, or, if urgently needed, backwards. In our lives, however, we can all too easily be sidetracked in any direction – or several – away from the way we had chosen for ourselves. We may be pushed, pulled or pressured in just about any direction (including up or down).

The sources of our “3Ps” (pushes, pulls and pressures) may come from any direction, internal, external, weather, loved ones, bosses, colleges, budgets… each one frequently contradicting another and each influencing us in ways that can make balance the last of our concerns. Yet balance is what can keep us sane and most capable of facing our challenges successfully and, most importantly, without losing sight of who we truly are. Losing ourselves, ceasing to be who we truly are, is the worst form of unbalance (as any person who has been through serious addiction can attest).

When we think of staying in balance, the image of a martial arts expert fending off attacks from all directions comes to mind. We know that loss of balance for one second would lead to disaster, but no matter how much s/he has to leap, kick, bend or turn, the expert stays in balance, and that is our goal, too.

Work in Progress will not turn you into a martial arts expert, but it is my hope that it will, over time (no instant miracles promised here) examine many of the dimensions of our lives in which we are often pulled or pushed from one end to the other, so that we are constantly off-balance. Often our shifts back and forth may undo the work that has just been done. Doing and undoing keeps us and those close to use unsettled… unbalanced. If we step back and look at the alternatives objectively, it becomes easier to decide how to respond, which way to move whatever serves us as our own balancing pole so that we can keep moving forward.

So, finding and keeping our balance is an important aspect of living the life that most of us want to live. It does not mean boring, or uneventful. It means that, whatever happens, we are ready to respond appropriately, and that we feel confident and unworried about what may happened next.

One of the nicest notes that I’ve received from a waitress as she handed me the check said, simply, “Stay fabulous.” I liked it enough that, in various forms, I have adopted it.

So, until next time, when we’ll be looking seriously at one specific cause of unbalance, I hope you will stay fabulously balanced! And sooner or later I will tell you why – and how much – I dislike the expression “work-life balance.”

Diana

P.S. In the meantime, I hope you’ll feel free to let me know about what causes you to lose your life-balance, and where you would like Work in Progress to head in the future.

And, again, I hope you will accept my invitation to subscribe via the form on the right.

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