LESSONS FROM LIFE

One day, as I was driving across town, a traffic light just ahead of me turned red (don’t they always?) and I stopped at the intersection.

As I sat there, two men approached the crosswalk. One glanced up and around, at the lights and at the cars, read correctly the signs indicating that he could cross in safety, and strode confidentally across. The other, who had been beside him, stepped off the sidewalk, looked anxiously at the waiting cars, up at the lights, then at the cars, stepped back onto the sidewalk, looked around worriedly, and remained where he was. Eventually the lights changed, and as they turned a third man strode up, glanced at neither the cars nor the lights, and stepped confidently into the road. At the last moment, he realized that the cars had started to move, and leaped back to safety.

In this briefest of vignettes I saw one of those ubiquitous divisions of people and how they interact with life’s signs and signals.

The first seemed to be one of those who take the time to read life’s signals carefully and accurately. They know where to look, and what is significant. With that awareness, they do not need to question when it is or is not appropriate to take action.

Others may be aware of the signals but seem unable to decipher their meaning. They have little confidence in their ability to respond appropriately. They waste their time fearfully vacillating between action and inaction, missing opportunities and making little or no progress toward  their goals – if they have them. Perhaps they eventually get where they are going, but not necessarily as speedily or as safely as they might have wished.

Then there are those who are determined to go their own way regardless of life’s signals or rules. They may endanger themselves and their progress. They often cause problems for others as they clash with whatever else is going on. They do not take the time to consider their environment or the consequences of action before striding forward. In this case, disaster was averted but that does not always happen.

Which way do you tend to be? Is that by choice? If not, what might you need to do to change?

(As a coach who focuses on decision-making, perhaps I can help. I offer everyone a 40 minute phone consultation – see the Contact page to get in touch with me.)

Diana suggests:

You’ve probably read all the data about how long it takes to get back onto a task once we turn to something else. You know… bathroom breaks… kitten videos… dramatic rescues of small animals from trees or drains… those things that we just HAVE to turn away from the real stuff for, only to return with our minds blank so that it takes times for us to get back into the swing of whatever we were doing.

Here’s my new policy. The interruption still happens (I’m a realist), but I am expecting that it will reduce the time it takes me to get back to the main task.

Before moving away from the task at hand, I bring up every screen that I am going to use for the next two or three actions on the list. There they are, staring at me, reminding me of what I was doing and what I intended to achieve before my brain hit pause. I don’t have to wonder what I was going to do, or where I was, because there it is.

Yes, even this post is included. I had the first line written before I turned away to eat dinner.

If you try it, please let me know if it works… or if it doesn’t. But even if it doesn’t, please be nice.

And if you like my work, I’d be SO delighted if you were to sign up for my irregular newsletter, “Work in Progress (because we all are).” The sign-up form is at the top of this page, on the right.

Diana

Welcome to my Blog!

This blog is about choice, how to make the best use of the choices available to us, and how to become aware of options that we may not have realized were available to us in the past. It is intended to serve you, to support you in making wise and regret-free choices, and to help all of us to see that at times there are often more available options to consider than we had dreamed of. (This can be hugely freeing, or it can complicate matters and make our choices more difficult than we had thought.) Choices matter, for we must accept their consequences.

Past changes:

I have gone through several variations in my blogging history. At one time I used the title “Work in Progress,” but that is now the name of my (free) newsletter, which goes to all who choose to subscribe (see top right-hand side of any page on this website). For a while after that it was “Stumbling Blocks & Stepping Stones,” but as I have now decided to return to my original website name them – “ChoiceCoach.” I therefore decided to things simple. As you can see, the new title follows my mission in serving my readers and clients. It is “Making Your Best Choices.”

What do YOU want from this blog?

Your questions, thoughts, and feedback are always welcome here. I very much want to be writing about topics that interest you, and particularly when they relate to the sometimes tricky topic of making regret-free choices. Remember, ‘you are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.’ (I believe that Ziad K. Abdelnour is generally accepted as the author of that wisdom, although it is sometimes attributed to Dr. Laura.)