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You are here: Home / Archives for Communication

Communication

Do You Hear what I Hear?

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

Is the sound that you hear the sound that I hear?

If we are to communicate well, we have to listen well, and most of us don’t listen as well as we think we do. However, no matter how carefully we listen, we may not always perceive exactly the same thing as anyone else. To show what I mean, here’s a true story that happened a few years ago… 

The sounds of nature, particularly the ocean, are an effective background for relaxation for many of us.  The roar of the waves gets louder as they approach, reaches a crescendo as they come closer, and then fades away as they retreat. To me, and to most people, it is very easy to visualize that one is relaxing peacefully as the nearby ocean waves advance and retreat in a soothing symphony of sound. Sometimes we may use such sounds when leading relaxation sessions. However, I encountered one individual who did not hear an ocean wave tape that way at all. He was noticeably not relaxed as the tape played. Later he asked why I would expect that the sound of trucks would help people to relax.

Trucks? TRUCKS? I wondered if we were speaking the same language.

However, he went on to explain that as a teenager he had been a frequent run-away, and between attempts at hitch-hiking had often tried to sleep under interstate bridges. Above him, throughout the night, the roar of the big trucks would gradually get louder as they approached, reach a crescendo as they passed overhead, and then fade away as they retreated into the distance.  This was the scene that was re-created for him whenever he heard the tape that, for most people, created the peaceful sound of ocean waves.

What is real, what is interpreted?

The sound was the sound.  What was actual was that the sound waves came from a piece of magnetic tape.  What was real to me was that it was the sound of ocean waves, which led to relaxation.  What was real to this man was the sound of interstate trucks, even after he became aware that the source of the sound on the tape was the ocean. And so that sound continued to remind him of his dangerous life as a runaway, which led to tension and a need for vigilance.

Our interpretation of most of the signals that we see and hear is subjective.  How often have we discovered that another person’s interpretation of exactly the same events was quite different from ours?

What we perceive is real to us.  We need to remind ourselves that it may not be exactly what actually happened, and it may not be what is real to another person.  Do not assume, without checking, that you know what another person’s  perceptions are.

To explore my offer of the gift of a 30 minute coaching session on whatever issue is a stumbling block for you, please see my Contact page.

I hope you find this blog interesting, useful, or amusing, depending on its topic. One way to keep track of my posts is to subscribe to my newsletter (see form on the right), which will always contain a note of recent blogs. Or, of course, you could bookmark this page and keep checking back. Either way, I hope that my work makes your life easier and more balanced.

Presentation terrors… The missing thumb drive…

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

Have you ever headed out to do a presentation using slides, knowing that you just made a last minute adjustment to them and, as you arrived at your destination, realized that… Oh horrors… you left the thumb drive in the desktop on which you were working? I have seen it happen, and I have a bit of a horror of having it happen to me.

Of course, if you have the program on your handy laptop, that is not a problem, but in some cases the equipment at your presentation location requires a thumb drive. It may be that even having your presentation in the cloud does not help. The hustle and bustle of preparations for an event, or the urgency of other people who need the equipment for their presentations  immediately before or after you can make access impossible. So, hoping to avoid the panic-making experience of giving a presentation without slides, when it actually depends on the slides for its effect, I have developed a very simple system…

My solution to have two thumb drives, A and B. When preparing a presentation, if I make an update on one, say A, I immediately take it out, put it with my presentation equipment, put B to the computer’s USB and save the new version to B as well. Now I have my presentation on both thumb drives, and one of them is with the bits and pieces that I know I will remember to take with me.

If I make another change, I just rinse and repeat… save it to B, put that with  my gear, return A to the computer and immediately save the updated version onto it also. I repeat the process as many times as I make major changes to whatever project is involved. Yes, it is slightly tedious, but it is also very valuable insurance.

Following this process, no matter which thumb drive you might accidentally leave in the computer as you rush out heading for your presentation location, so long as you have your other gear, you have the most recent version of your presentation along with you.

Of course, if you leave EVERYTHING behind… I can’t help you.

To  explore my offer of the gift of a 30 minute coaching session on whatever issue is a stumbling block for you, please see my Contact page.

I hope you find this blog interesting, useful, or amusing, depending on its topic. One way to keep track of my posts is to subscribe to my newsletter (see form on the right), which will always contain a note of recent blogs. Or, of course, you could bookmark this page and keep checking back. Either way, I hope that my work makes your life easier and more balanced. 

Should I say “I” or “me”?

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

There is a really simple way to know whether we should say “I” or “me” when telling of events, but it seems that many people, including folk on television who should know better, do not know this simple trick. They say things like “Me and Betty went to the concert.” Or “Betty and me went to the concert.” Both are wrong – although one is wrong once, and the other is wrong twice.

Does it matter? Not if you don’t care what is expected of you, or aren’t interested in giving the impression of being an effective communicator. Not if you are “code-switching” and hanging out with people who may mock you as being over-educated it your grammar is correct.

On the other hand, if you are trying to give a good impression, if you are being interviewed, if you want whatever you are saying to be heard or read with the focus of attention being on what you are saying, not on how your are saying it, then it matters. Unfortunately, many people equate education with intelligence. If your grammar is flawed some people will assume that your education is flawed, and if your education is flawed, then it may be assumed that you are less intelligent than is actually the case. All those assumptions may be false, but if their owner believes them, then that can work against you in one way or another.

What is the trick I mentioned? It’s simple. This problem usually occurs when you are including someone else as well as yourself. If it is just you, unless you are new to the English language, you know that you do not say “Me went to the concert.” There’s your answer! When you wonder which to use, just consider what you would say if Betty (or whoever else) had not gone to the concert with you. You would say “I went to the concert.” That, then is what you should say even when Betty is with you. Problem solved.

The correct version? “Betty and I went to the concert.”

Did you notice that there was another glitch in the second sentence of this post?

Oh yes – it is a matter of courtesy and respect to put the other person’s name before yours. So “I and Betty went to the concert” is also wrong.

Those two rules should help you to remember, whether you are speaking on television, writing a term paper, or chatting with your boss. You have just removed one potential “downgrade” in how they perceive you!

 

 

Thoughts on Writing for International Readership

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

When I came to the United States after being raised in England, I quickly discovered that the joke that they are “two countries divided by a single language” has strong elements of truth to it. How much more difficult can communication be between cultures that do not have a common source or a common language? Since September 1997, my experience in working with an international clientele and writing an e-zine that was reaching more than forty countries has taught me to be extremely careful when putting my ideas into words. Here are some thoughts may be useful to those who communicate across national and cultural boundaries.

1. Keep it supremely simple. Many people read English language ezines and other publications as a way to polish their use and understanding of the phrasing. If you need to use unusual words, do so in a context that will make their meaning clear. A great vocabulary needs to be an aid to clear communication, not a barrier to it.

2. Avoid idioms and slang. These change their meaning from one culture to another, sometimes with quite offensive (though occasionally hilarious) results.

3. Remember that the correspondence between weather and the calendar differs across the globe. When referring to a time of cold weather, write “winter,” not “December.” As an example, while I watch the snow fall, my cousins in New Zealand are complaining of the heat. Many Australians celebrate their Christmas dinner as an outdoor picnic, and a white Christmas is pure fantasy.

4. Remember that many nationally recognized holidays are just that. They are not internationally recognized. How many national holidays of other countries do you know? Should we expect readers to recognize ours if we are not aware of theirs?

5. Try to discover holidays and days of significance other than just those that affect you and your culture. An awareness of other holidays not only enables you to include mention of them with sensitivity, but it also puts all holidays in a clearer context. For example, Christmas is not universally celebrated, in any country, and Thanksgiving is largely American, though many other countries have a Harvest Festival of one kind or another.

6. Avoid being overly informal. In contacts with subscribers, clients, and customers, recognize that use of first names to people you do not know may be  socially unacceptable, even insulting, in many cultures.

7. Be careful when referring to people well-known in your culture without explanation. While the scandals of national presidents are probably familiar world-wide, the name of a sports player famous in your country may mean nothing to readers elsewhere. If you need to use someone as an example, include a brief explanation as to why s/he is relevant. The same thing applies to sports teams. I sometimes show students a movie from New Zealand in which reference is made to the national Rugby team, known as “the All Blacks” because of the uniform they wear. It is always necessary to explain ahead of time to U.S. students that the words “Not an All Black in sight” does not have a racial connotation.

8. A similar principle applies to geography. Most people know where major cities are. However, if you refer to lesser known areas, add enough description to show where it is and why it is relevant to the point you are making.

9. Don’t sound condescending. To too pointedly acknowledge that some readers may not know what you mean may sound condescending. To assume that they do know is to appear insensitive. Best balance is to include a few words that clarify your meaning without being too obvious about it.

10. As you work, write from your heart, proofread with your mind, and in your thoughts keep an image of the many and diverse peoples who inhabit our fragile, wonderful planet.

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