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You are here: Home / Communication / Should I say “I” or “me”?

Should I say “I” or “me”?

By Diana Gardner Robinson Leave a Comment

There is a really simple way to know whether we should say “I” or “me” when telling of events, but it seems that many people, including folk on television who should know better, do not know this simple trick. They say things like “Me and Betty went to the concert.” Or “Betty and me went to the concert.” Both are wrong – although one is wrong once, and the other is wrong twice.

Does it matter? Not if you don’t care what is expected of you, or aren’t interested in giving the impression of being an effective communicator. Not if you are “code-switching” and hanging out with people who may mock you as being over-educated it your grammar is correct.

On the other hand, if you are trying to give a good impression, if you are being interviewed, if you want whatever you are saying to be heard or read with the focus of attention being on what you are saying, not on how your are saying it, then it matters. Unfortunately, many people equate education with intelligence. If your grammar is flawed some people will assume that your education is flawed, and if your education is flawed, then it may be assumed that you are less intelligent than is actually the case. All those assumptions may be false, but if their owner believes them, then that can work against you in one way or another.

What is the trick I mentioned? It’s simple. This problem usually occurs when you are including someone else as well as yourself. If it is just you, unless you are new to the English language, you know that you do not say “Me went to the concert.” There’s your answer! When you wonder which to use, just consider what you would say if Betty (or whoever else) had not gone to the concert with you. You would say “I went to the concert.” That, then is what you should say even when Betty is with you. Problem solved.

The correct version? “Betty and I went to the concert.”

Did you notice that there was another glitch in the second sentence of this post?

Oh yes – it is a matter of courtesy and respect to put the other person’s name before yours. So “I and Betty went to the concert” is also wrong.

Those two rules should help you to remember, whether you are speaking on television, writing a term paper, or chatting with your boss. You have just removed one potential “downgrade” in how they perceive you!

 

 

Filed Under: Communication, Grammar

About Diana Gardner Robinson

Coach Diana Gardner Robinson (Ph.D.) has been coaching, teaching and counseling for more than 20 years. She understands problems, she understands people, and she offers you a 30-40 minute phone coaching call focused totally on YOU, with ZERO sales pitch. Use the Contact page to reach her and schedule an appointment.
Originally from England, and with a doctorate in Social Psychology, Diana has an understanding of the many dilemmas that people experience, and is highly skilled at helping her clients to resolve issues and blocks that had been holding them back from being who they really want to be.

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