It seemed ironic. As I prepared the flowerbeds for winter I found myself cutting back and discarding stem after stem of the ground cover that I had carefully chosen, planted, and nourished when I first cultivated the flower-bed years before. Why? Originally it had filled in the spaces between some new and skimpy looking day-lilies. Now, though, the day-lilies were spreading luxuriously, and needed more room. The low-growing vinca had become secondary to those gorgeous flowers, and some of it had to go.
Life can be like that. As we grow and change, we may find that a particular habit and attribute that we had once worked really hard to develop is no longer useful. Was it therefore a waste to have developed it? No. It served its purpose at that time. But now, just as my vinca threatened to hold back the growth of the day-lilies, so old habits, even though useful, can limit our further growth.
Goal-setting techniques are a perfect example. In coaching classes I have heard many arguments for and against goal-setting, and “to-do lists.” The truth is that there are times for using them, and times when they are not necessary.
Many highly successful people swear by goal-setting techniques. Others eschew them. Certainly for someone who has never set, worked toward, and achieved goals, goal-setting techniques can be a life-changing experience. I once taught them to a group of young mothers on welfare who were as excited as children at a birthday party to learn how to set goals, and to encourage and cheer each others’ progress every week.
Yet there can also come a time in our lives when we are so fully congruent with our personal values and vision that we do not need to set goals. They may come automatically as we flow with our day to day processes, guided by our own authenticity. At this point, artificially set goals can actually get in the way of our progress.
This is just one illustration of the fact that we need to be as willing to discard old habits that have become too confining as we are to develop new habits that will further our growth. It may seem strange to discard something when you once worked hard to develop it, but… you don’t still wear your baby clothes, do you? They once were a perfect fit, but now they are no long appropriate. So it is with some habits. If it holds back your progress, then consider making a change.
