I don’t know why I am posting this today. I wrote it a while back, prompted by things I’d seen and heard when working in the field of addiction counseling. I usually find that when I publish something on impulse, I hear from a reader somewhere that the timing was precisely what they needed. I hope that is the case today. Diana
Touching bottom, Lord, help me climb back up.
It hurts down here, where I’ve put myself
(There’s no one to blame but me).
I’ve gotta stop now, I can see that it’s true.
Can’t do it alone, can’t win without You.
Touching bottom, Lord
I lost a good job today.
Fine job, nice folks, nothing wrong with the pay,
But a friend came by with a beer in his hand,
And I followed him, off to the promised land.
So I lost a good job today.
Touching bottom, Lord…
Left my best friend alone today.
He needed my help, and I’d promised, but, say,
The phone rang again, with a tip on a pony,
The chance of a lifetime, so said someone’s crony.
My friend managed his crisis alone, today.
Touching bottom, Lord…
I hit my wife today.
Not her fault, rent was due, and she had it to pay.
But I wanted that money, and she held it tight,
So I yelled, and I freaked, and we had a fight.
I injured my wife today.
Touching bottom, Lord…
My daughter’s birthday today.
A party, her friends, and some kids’ games to play,
So I laughed, and I drank, and I had a ball
Till I saw her face. One look told it all.
I embarrassed my daughter today.
Touching bottom, Lord,
I lost a true lover today.
I took it for granted that she’d always stay,
She’d keep giving her love, and her help, and her care
So I took, never gave, while my mind was elsewhere,
And I lost a true lover today.
Touching bottom, Lord.
Once again, I have lied to my friends.
They care, that I know, they’re with me to the end
But I want their respect (though I don’t have my own)
So I played the big man with a fax and a phone,
And I lied, once again, to my friends.
Touching bottom, Lord.
I scammed my mother today;
Took her trust, and threw it away.
I thought I could buy my way out of my pain
But instead I feel like I’m going insane.
I scammed my mother today.
Touching bottom, today.
My life is a nightmare today.
I keep spinning, and turning, and trying to hold on, but everything’s flying away:
Dreams destroyed, friends betrayed, nothing’s immune,
Addictions, addictions are playing the tune.
My life is a nightmare today.
Reaching up, Lord.
I can take the first step today.
Can’t put everything right, but at least I can pray,
I can build my support group of people who’ve found
The way to the good life with feet on the ground.
I can take the first step today.
Reaching up, Lord. Help me climb back up.
It hurts down here, where I’ve put myself
(There’s no one to blame but me).
I’ve gotta stop now, I can see that it’s true.
Can’t do it alone, can’t win without You.
Lord, help me climb back up.
© 2016 Diana Gardner Robinson
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